Blending Dreams with Reality

April 25, 2010 at 10:00 pm (Uncategorized)

I am still able to distinguish my dreams from my waking life. There are occasions when I have had trouble determining whether a far-distant memory of my very young childhood is fact or fiction, but these are extremely rare. More commonly, I experience memories of the long past in a similar way to memories of dreams, without confusing one for the other. I can see how this slight blurring of perception could develop, in some very isolated, desperate minds – though they are sane – into a blurring, and eventually deletion of the boundary between their perceptions of reality and their perceptions of dreaming. Perhaps in some cases such a state does not require desperation nor true isolation, but is rather the product of a self-imposed isolation due to a perceptual difference between the mind and others. Those who are convinced of their inalienable intellectual superiority may begin to confuse thought with truth.

What is it that makes isolation the font of delusion? Other people are certainly an important check when determining which of our conclusions and perceptions are valid.

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Staying Up Late

April 21, 2010 at 9:32 pm (Uncategorized)

I have been awake for 23 hours. My arms are shaking from the shoulder as I type.

I will fix my schedule.

Yeah and with this soundtrack:
Osmos soundtrack

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Good Poetry/Bad Poetry

April 15, 2010 at 8:09 pm (Smáskitligr) (, , , )

What is generally considered the worst poem written in the English language:

A Tragedy
by Theophilus Marzials

Death!
Plop.

The barges down in the river flop.

Flop, plop.

Above, beneath.

From the slimy branches the grey drips drop,
As they scraggle black on the thin grey sky,
Where the black cloud rack-hackles drizzle and fly
To the oozy waters, that lounge and flop
On the black scrag piles, where the loose cords plop,
As the raw wind whines in the thin tree-top.

Plop, plop.

And scudding by

The boatmen call out hoy! and hey!
All is running water and sky,

And my head shrieks — “Stop,”
And my heart shrieks — “Die.”

* * * * *
My thought is running out of my head;
My love is running out of my heart,
My soul runs after, and leaves me as dead,
For my life runs after to catch them — and fled
They all are every one! — and I stand, and start,
At the water that oozes up, plop and plop,
On the barges that flop
And dizzy me dead.
I might reel and drop.
Plop.
Dead.

And the shrill wind whines in the thin tree-top
Flop, plop.
* * * * *
A curse on him.
Ugh! yet I knew — I knew —
If a woman is false can a friend be true?
It was only a lie from beginning to end —

My Devil — My “Friend”

I had trusted the whole of my living to!

Ugh; and I knew!

Ugh!

So what do I care,

And my head is empty as air —

I can do,
I can dare,

(Plop, plop
The barges flop
Drip drop.)

I can dare! I can dare!

And let myself all run away with my head
And stop.

Drop.
Dead.

Plop, flop.

Plop.

Now let’s read my favourite poem, by my favourite poet:

WHEN I have fears that I may cease to be
Before my pen has glean’d my teeming brain,
Before high piled books, in charact’ry,
Hold like rich garners the full-ripen’d grain;
When I behold, upon the night’s starr’d face,
Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance,
And think that I may never live to trace
Their shadows, with the magic hand of chance;
And when I feel, fair creature of an hour!
That I shall never look upon thee more,
Never have relish in the faery power
Of unreflecting love!—then on the shore
Of the wide world I stand alone, and think
Till Love and Fame to nothingness do sink.

– John Keats

I am certain this has been said before, but the only tragedy present in Marzials’ poem is the poem and possibly – on a different, transcendental plane – the poet.

As an interesting side-note, Marzials was also a musician:

Pan Pipes - Theo Marzials

Pan Pipes - Theo Marzials

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An Omegle Transcript

April 9, 2010 at 8:43 am (Skrifa) (, , , , , , )

You: got any weird secrets?
Stranger: um no u
You: yep
You: i think everyone does
You: here’s mine: i’m an atheist
Stranger: oh im satonic
You: ah!
You: modern satanism or satanism as the church sees it?
You: satanism in the tradition of william blake?
You: because that’s just secular humanism, really 😉
Stranger: mean satanic church of satan
You: yeah but
You: the satanic church has split into facitons
You: factions**
You: the “man is central” faction
You: and the “we worship demons and think they’re real and we do magic and stuff” faction
Stranger: k
You: at least i thought it had
Stranger: wat about the necromandian book of death
You: the necronomicon?
You: that was in evil dead.
You: sorry i didn’t recognize the name so i googled it
Stranger: it cover is made of human skin and the words are written in blood
You: and you have one of these?
Stranger: no only one in extices or w.e in the world it was lost over seas and it had the power to control the world but its possible to get a copy but not its self
You: congrats, you have been the most interesting person i’ve talked to on here tonight
You: worst speller, but most interesting
You: snaps for you
Stranger: cuz im on my cell
You: on your cell?
You: they have a phone app for omegle?
You: wow, technology
Stranger: i no iz wierd
You: i’m still using one of them nokia lipstick phones
You: style over substance
Stranger: i got a nokia toucn screen n im here
You: so you’re out doing stuff then
You: or just not at a computer
Stranger: not at it jus layin down
You: by the way, if you have some sort of powers of darkness or know anyone who does, i would like to live forever
You: i’m only kind of joking here
Stranger: do u love ur family?
You: what’s left of it
Stranger: then if u were imortal ued see ur family die ur kids die ur wife die ur grandchildren die every one u could love will die and u l be stuck on the planet
You: 1. i am a woman
You: 2. i’m not having kids
You: 3.
You: i’ve seen so many people die
You: all i know is i don’t want to do it ever
Stranger: ok i wouldnt care all i want is world domination and i will have it
You: i’ll look for the guy with the nokia
You: and i’ll say, “Hey, you remember me; we talked on omegle”
You: and then you’ll still have me executed
You: because world domination is never leaving any witnesses
You: i took a meyers-briggs once
Stranger: i will enslave the human race bring back the pastwhen the killing of man was a sport in rome
You: the guy who tested me told my mother that he’d never seen anything like it
You: he said, “watch out for her”
You: question: if you enslave the entire human race
You: who are they going to be slaves to?
You: who holds the whips?
Stranger: i will create the ultimate race the return or the aryans pure germans the thing hitler coulnd accomplish i will

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Mina May and frYars

April 8, 2010 at 12:57 am (Fróðleikr) (, , , , , )

I am once again cooler than you. However, they’re both French and obscure, which quite possibly makes them too cool for me.

Heavenly Priorities – Mina May
Plump juicy electronic rock.


Emaciated electronic new wave indie.

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Pixels and Filters

April 6, 2010 at 7:21 am (Skrifa) (, , )


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Ink and Paper

April 4, 2010 at 9:53 pm (Skrifa) (, , , )

Done with coloured india inks on vellum.

Done with coloured inks on vellum.

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The Beginning of Everything

April 3, 2010 at 5:55 pm (Fróðleikr, Skrifa) (, , , , , , , )

A treatise on the topic of the beginning of the universe: why time and matter exist.

In this paper I do not assume my interpretation of Kantian epistemology: i.e. that three dimensions and Euclidian geometry are a conceptual necessity of our minds and therefore a perceptual belief that entails non-Euclidian geometry or dimensional values greater than three is unsupportable.

However, this omission primarily affects a footnote on page 8, and is therefore not of paramount importance to the thesis of the paper.

I am entirely indebted to a certain professor of metaphysics and of Wittgenstein for the sprouts that grew into this paper.

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Anorexic at a Burger Store

April 3, 2010 at 2:40 am (Fróðleikr) (, , , , , , )

A girl sitting at a table on the patio exhibited some telltale signs of anorexia I recognised in my own past behaviour.

I record them here to help out those who may not know what it is like to be anorexic. If a good friend exhibits these signs, it could be a cause for concern:

1. Everyone else at the table is eating. This may seem like an obvious point, but when someone exhibits such obviously anorexic behaviour around friends and family, they are either stupid or escalating.
2. She glances at everyone else’s food in the same way a single at a bar might glance at a person she finds attractive: barely noticeably, without consciously doing so, over and over again.
3. Every time she stops looking at food or a person eating, she smiles uneasily. She is sure to look at the person talking before she finishes her smile. She’s feeling temptation, and then congratulating herself for not giving in, over and over again. She then masks her feelings by acting as though her smile is in response to the conversation and not her internal monologue.
4. At a place where there are free refills, she orders a large soda. It is guaranteed to be diet. What she’s doing here is giving herself the option to fill her stomach with something sweet and empty so her temptation to run up to the counter and order food is not so strong. The largeness of the soda cup is a visual cue. She’s attempting to satisfy her craving for substance. “You are allowed to have all of this,” it says.
5. She drinks at most a third of the soda, and throws it away immediately upon her party’s exit from the restaurant. Hurdle successfully overcome, she disposes of the tools she used to conquer it. It is a symbolic gesture. Throwing the soda away also solves her temptation to stretch out her stomach by filling it.

A person may act like this without suffering from anorexia nervosa, if they are on a strict diet. However, these signs will predict, with complete reliability, the anorexias of self-control, including those induced by strict dieting in an individual without anorexia nervosa, and including those brief periods of anorexia displayed by bulimia nervosa sufferers.

Anorexias due to nervous disorders such as food phobias and anorexias due to physiological causes will of course not manifest in this way.

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This Song Makes Me Feel Like I’m Flying

April 2, 2010 at 7:05 am (Uncategorized) (, , )

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